SIRM gives away a free IVF cycle

I believe that timing is everything.  While we are currently questioning every decision we have made in our journey so far - I see a post from a highly successful infertility clinic - SIRM.  They are giving away a free IVF cycle.  All you have to do is email them your story and then they will post the finalists and open up voting.

Here is the email I sent them.  You never know right?

Our Story ~

This week we would told once again that we would not be able to have a baby.  This time it was from an adoption agency instead of from a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  We thought we had left the emotional and physical pain and disappointment behind us when we ended our pursuit of pregnancy and moved on to adoption. 

How did we end up here you might ask?  My diagnosis of PCOS at the tender age of 21 was the black cloud of worry that followed me through my 20's and into my marriage to my wonderful husband Kevin.  We married January 2nd, 2010 and immediately started our journey to have a family.  I still remember the day we decided to start trying.  It was February 14th, 2010.  Kevin said he hoped that it took at least a couple of months to get me knocked up, because he was looking forward to "trying".  Within a few months we came to the realization that we were in this for the long haul.

After a dismal semen analysis, we were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist.  We were told that IVF was our only real chance at achieving our dreams.  But it was outside of our comfort zone.  Were we really willing to spend more then what I paid to go to college for ONE shot at getting pregnant?  It didn't seem responsible.  Our insurance wouldn't cover the treatment that our doctor recommended.  We were stuck between a rock and a hard place.  But our insurance would cover some of the cost of IUIs, so we decided to give it a whirl. 

Every month that passed Kevin's sperm counts got worse. Hope was definitely a fleeting feeling in our home.  We had done everything right.  The injectable meds, the blood thinners (due to my history of clotting), the timed intercourse, the supplements, accupuncture and one very painful varicocelectomy.  Nothing was working and there was no improvement in the swimmers...

We compromised.  We gave up our dream of a spontaneous pregnancy.  My husband had to give up his dream of a biological child and we moved on.  We did 3 more IUIs using donor sperm.  We overstimmulated my ovaries in a last ditch effort.  We got so close.  Extremely positive response to meds and super promising progesterone results through our "2 week wait".  But it wasn't our time.  On July 6th, 2011, after 7 IUIs and countless tears we made the decision to terminate all treatments and move on.

We began the adoption process with a sigh of relief.  We knew that it would not be a short journey, but in the end we would end up with a family and that was more important then anything else.  That was our ultimate goal.  No more pain and disappointment from failed treatments.  No more waiting and wondering if this time would be our time.  We completed all the intrusive and necessary paperwork and prepared for our home study.

Yes we knew this road would not be easy.  We knew that we would wait.  We knew that we could wait a LONG time.  But once we were active, we had the potential ANY DAY to get that call.  That we would finally have a baby.  That was more then we could ever dream before and we were excited to be active and waiting.

But nothing is easy.  And no road is smooth.  Just 6 days prior to going in "the book" we were told by a social worker that we needed to be on hold.  Kevin, my quiet and introverted until you get to know him, husband, had not opened up to them enough in the 2 hours they spent with him.  It wasn't a no, but it was a not right now.

So, here we are, back where we started and unsure of what our path should be.  Do we wait it out or do we chance the pregnancy dream again. 

That is where timing comes in.  I saw a post on a support board about SIRM's contest.  I am taking it as a sign.  That maybe we weren't done with our pursuit of pregnancy.  That maybe we were put on hold because this was the plan all along.

All we can do is keep believing that something, someday will work out.